When first reading the title of this chapter – Listen – my first thought was that of Lewis Grizzard in his book, “They Tore Out My Heart and Stomped That Sucker Flat”…… “How much is this going to hurt and how long do I have to listen?”
And then, I read the second Chapter……..”This might Sting a Little”……..and its true……Listening can Sting!!
But Peter advises in 1 Peter 3:7 – “but live with your wives in an understanding way.”
Trust her heart
“as unto a weaker vessel.” – because of her vulnerability in the marriage in two ways: 1) is it worth to try to understand you, and 2) dishonor her by treating her as less than an equal “fellow heir of the grace of life.”
- Copper vs. Porcelain – different functions
- “Handle with Care” – Porcelain cracks easily. “Delicate and worthy of Honor.”
- C-O-U-P-L-E principles are connected
Closeness and Openness are very similar – Understanding plays off Closeness and Openness = As you draw close to your wife and are open with her, she will sense that you are also trying to understand her. - Does Listening to your wife Sting sometimes? Is it time consuming? Non-value added? Or perhaps it just bores the hell out of you?
- But you have BLUE hearing aids, not PINK! You don’t do little round tables in coffee shops very well. You don’t listen with empathy!
- Sarah and Spanish……….like Heather and Mandarin!!! Did I solve your problem? No, not really, but I feel much better!!!
- Do you need a solution or just a listening ear??
- Have you ever heard of Axle going out for coffee with Crow Bar to simply “release his emotions” and have Crow Bar listen about his hurt and pain?? As they look deeply into each other’s, Axle feels understood and loved by Crow Bar because he took the time to listen.
- Not me, sorry……….I call a buddy and its normally……..”This SOB owes me $46,000…….how do I get my money?….any ideas??
- AS a MAN, I want Solutions, ANSWERS……..I could care less that you feel my pain!!!
- Lets just TALK………..Not an option in a marriage!!! If you don’t talk to your wife, she will blow off the top of the tea kettle!!
- My wife says……..you never share your work with me or open up like I do………No….I am a Man, I do not need to share every little detail of what I had for lunch and why I liked one salad dressing over another.
- Schedule Time for Listening to your Wife.