OPENNESS – She Wants You to Open Up to Her

COUPLE – Closeness last week, OPENNESS this week.
Do you play it close to the vest? Are you hiding behind your manliness?? Are you scared to share it ALL?
OF COURSE YOU ARE – YOU ARE A MAN!!! Being Vulnerable is Scary!!
Your wife, However, Longs for Your Love……..By Connecting Openly with YOUR Heart!!!

Reminds me of Lewis Grizzard – “They Tore Out My Heart and Stomped That Sucker Flat” (Lewis Grizzard tells of the early stirrings of his wayward heart in the backseat of a ’57 Chevy and the ominous murmurings that led him at age 35 to major surgery and the real answer to his question, ”How much is this going to hurt?” In the process he discovers all the ways a heart can break. Young love. Three marriages. His father’s death. And why his entire future suddenly depended on a little pig.

We ALL ask the question that Grizzard ponders…………..when opening up to our Wives…..”How Much is This Going to Hurt?”

Expressive-Responsive vs. Compartmentalized
Be Careful with those Lights!!!
1 Samuel 25:17
NO Love (closed, hurtful, lonely, neglected) NO SEX!!
Are you a Mysterious Island??

Song of Solomon 5:2 – “my flawless dove”
“My Beloved speaks…….to me.” Song of Solomon 2:10

Who wants to talk about Marital problems on a Daily basis??? To keep the relationship “up to date” ,,,,,,,, you have got to be kidding!! Have I married my Psychotherapist??? “You are still angry with your Mother and taking it out on me anytime I say one little word that might be disrespectful.

Proverbs 31:11-12
Is she trying to control me? No…..she is a good-willed woman….I know she just wants to connect with me and feel an openness and closeness. She is moving closer because she loves you…..you matter to her!!

Col 3:19 – It is very easy to be embittered against your wife………..I know…….I am right now!!
Embittered = upset and irritated, exasperated, indignant and angry.

Mal 2:15
How will you then live with this Sensitive Woman???
Take her weakness with her strengths.

Good Works………..Damn!! Do I have to?

 

Angel Tasks
The three daily angel tasks – or random acts of kindness are randomly selected each day from the following list. This list will be continuously updated as new ideas for random acts of kindness are presented to me. I am always looking for more task ideas. If the task is a viable option which I can successfully complete as a random act of kindness both timewise and of course, financially, then it will be added.

  • Write a note of appreciation to your mailman
  • Compliment a stranger sincerely
  • Write a thank you note to someone
  • Look for something around you that can be fixed up, picked up, or attended ie, put shopping carts up, pick up some trash laying around, pick up something that has fallen over
  • Give a lottery ticket to a stranger
  • Send handmade cards or a letter to someone you care for
  • Write a note to management or someone themself who has treated you nice while doing their job (waiter, clerk, sales person…ect)
  • When you go somewhere to get or do something, ask someone around you if you can pick up, drop off or do something for them while you do
  • Cut coupons out and leave them at the grocer register for others
  • Cut an article out of the newspaper that would interest a friend and mail it to them.
  • Leave have a nice day stickers at a front desk
  • Put together a writing kit with stationery, envelopes and stamps, pen and give to hospital/nursing home
  • Put a comment on someone’s webpage that you really like…… let them know you enjoy it
  • Send a card to someone in the military overseas
  • Start a conversation up with a co-worker that you don’t know
  • Leave something cheery or nice for all your co-workers (in spring bag of seeds, fun post its, fun office supplies
  • Put change in a row of vending machines
  • Visit a nursing home. Spend time visiting with someone who doesn’t get visitors
  • Put something you no longer need on Craig’s list free spot for your area
  • Leave something for someone at an area where it most might be used, (lighter near smoking area, book in reading area, umbrella near door on rainy day)
  • Leave a book you have already finished somewhere for someone else to read.
  • Drop off a toy or game at a hospital
  • Drop off a toy or game at a homeless shelter.
    At post office leave some extra stamps at the stamp machine.
  • Send a picture you have taken which includes a friend and send it to them with a note remembering when it was taken
  • Buy a phone card and give to a homeless shelter for them to give to someone.
  • Open the phone book, pick a name, and send them something (movie tickets, thank you card, you are appreciated card, book, etc.) anonymously.
  • Take flowers to a hospital ward and give them to someone who hasn’t had any visitors.
  • Take some cake, chocolates, flowers etc. to the neighbors, or a senior citizen nearby
  • Send someone a small gift anonymously
  • Make a cd of your favorite songs and give to a friend
  • Donate one hour of your time if you offer a service for a living, or one product, or one seminar, or one class, or just one of whatever it is that you do as a gift to someone else.
  • Invite someone who is alone over for dinner.
  • Share a comic strip or something funny with someone else.
  • Leave a chocolate for a co-worker.
  • Write a note, send a e-greeting “just to say hello” to someone who might need a pick me up
  • Visit hospitals with smiles, treats and friendly conversation for patients.
  • Send a thank you to the employees at a hospital, or anywhere else that a cheerful thank might add a smile
  • Put a quarter in a parking meter that has expired
  • Write a thank-you note to a person from your past who has made a difference in your life.
  • Drop off a plant, flowers or apple pie at a public service orginization or your neighbors house.
  • Send someone an animated greeting card on the internet.
  • Write a note to the boss of someone who has helped you, praising the employee.
  • Drop off teddy bear to police department to give to traumitized children
  • Drop a few coins in an area where children play, where they can easily find them.
  • Copy a favorite recipie and give it to someone
  • Buy a copy of your favorite book and donate it to your local library or hospital
  • Write letters of appreciation to groups who are helping the community, the environment, etc.
  • Send a card to a friend or relative you haven’t seen for some time. Include a photo of yourself and/or your family.
  • Make a point of introducing yourself to someone you see all of the time but never say hello to.
  • Send an anonymous scratch card, lottery or theatre ticket to someone you know – or a gift voucher, a funny card, a chocolate bar, or whatever you feel they would enjoy
  • If you know someone who is having a hard time financially, pop a $5, $10 or $20 note in an envelope, disguise your writing or type the envelope, and post it to them.
  • Offer to baby sit
  • Donate clothes to goodwill
  • Put change in a charity change bottle
  • Bring cookies or some snack to work for office
  • Drop off cookies at a random establishment
  • Tape some change to a payphone with a card saying it is for whoever needs it
  • Write anonymous, loving post-its for strangers to find.

Ideas?
New “angel” tasks ideas are always more than welcome.
So if you have an idea just drop me a line!

In Their Words..
“The kindness planned for tomorrow does not count for today.”

– Unknown –

“You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson –

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.”

– James Oppenheim –

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single minute before starting to improve the world. ”

– Anne Frank –

“You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself. ”

– Alan Alda –

“When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds; your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.”

Patanjali. –

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

– Aesop –

“Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles and kindness, and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart, and secure comfort.”

– Sir Humphrey Davy –

“Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end. ”

– Scott Adams –

“I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver”

– Maya Angelou –

Copyright © 2006 DareToBeAnAngel.com and its licensors. All rights reserved.

LOVE AND RESPECT: Eph 5:33 and 1 Peter 3:1

CAN YOU DECIPHER YOUR WIFE’S CODE??? ITS TAKEN ME 24 YEARS AND I AM NOT EVEN CLOSE…………..WE WILL TALK ABOUT THAT AT 8:30AM AT THE HOSPITAL.
REMINDS ME OF THE QUOTE………

IF YOU KEEP DOING WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS DONE, (IN YOUR MARRIAGE) YOU WILL KEEP GETTING WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS GOTTEN (AND DESERVED) IN YOUR MARRIAGE…

…………..SO STOP FLIPPING THE SWITCH……DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT…….BUT WHAT???

LETS TALK ABOUT THAT!! WHAT ARE YOUR IDEAS??

Session 1 – The Simple Secret
Blake highlighted an interesting point on page 20 that Emerson describes and illustrates as a “Life-Changing Decision” that he and his wife both made. He has decided to believe that no matter what she says or does, she does not have evil intentions. She might have a nasty moment but deep in her heart she intends to do good. She may come across as disrespectful but that is not her real purpose. An Sarah has decided to believe that, no matter what Emerson says or does, he does not intend, deep in his heart, ill will toward her……………….see pages 20-22 on peppered eggs and wet towels

SCRIPTURE MEDITATIONS
Eccl 9:9 – “Enjoy life with the woman whom you love” — does this verse suggest that a man can influence the emotional temperature of his marriage more than he might think??
Eccl 7:25 “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” — what do unloving or disrespectful reactions do to the spirit of a spouse??
Eph 5:33 — “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” —Do you believe love and respect will guide the two of you in responding correctly to troubles that are bound to come to your marriage???

Session 2 –Decipher the Code
Ho often does your spouse seem to communicate in a “code” that is hard to decipher or understand?
Constantly ________
Often ________
Now and then_______
Seldom_______
Tenth Anniversary or Tenth Birthday – Who cares about a damn card, anyway??
“ALL YOU WANT ME FOR IS SEX”
Do you make time for sex? Is life just too busy? Why? –She is hostile from his sarcastic comment and feeling unloved…….what a jerk!!!….she wants an explanation and an apology……He is still feeling neglected and is still thinking about sex!!
Just Keep Flipping the Light Switch = Craziness

Learning From My Mistakes in 2011

Quite a year to remember — 2011. For many, the year to forget! But for me, it has been much better than the previous two years. Proof once again that my God is Faithful when I am Faithless. I hope I have learned a few things this year but I am stubborn and it always takes time to sink in.

Key points of Learning for 2011 (Random thoughts)

  • The world is mostly Asian.
  • The USA is in a daze and cannot control the future. USA = $15 trillion deficit, China = $3 trillion surplus.
  • Zero Debt = Peace of mind.
  • Being able to Give more equals Joy, Peace, Love, Contentment, Fullfillment, Freedom.
  • Being able to Forgive is Difficult but equals Freedom.
  • Harbouring Bitterness reduces your effectiveness to Serve and Give of yourself.
  • People need the Lord.
  • People change because they want to, not because you want them to.
  • Sincere, unconditional Kindness is Rare, but needed.
  • People, everywhere, appreciate being sincerely appreciated.
  • Men are consumed with Money and act and react like animals for the love of money!
  • Entitlement thinking is the first step to bondage and eventual destruction.
  • I deserve but got life by the Grace of God. I am entitled to nothing.
  • True Friends are Rare. Conditional Friends are Common.
  • Children are a Blessing. Grandchildren are a double blessing and a delight.
  • Fathers never stop thinking about their Daughter’s Safety and well being.

These are my first thoughts looking back on 2011………………………..more to come.